Play By Play

I had about 3 hours sleep. It was one of those sleeps where even though my eyes were closed I wasn’t sleeping. You know those? You’re dreaming but you’re awake dreaming. My mind knew I had to be up so it never turned off. With such a short time to sleep I knew I missed the cut off for taking a sleeping aide. In saying that, I woke up relatively refreshed. Amity was staring at me while I slept like she loves me. I got up at 6am with no problems. Got my face on. Found clothes to wear effortlessly. It all went pretty smoothly. I don’t know why or how but it did. Maybe it’s because I was actually doing something today.

I decided instead of taking a bus or Uber to the station I was going to drive and park there. I’ve never done that before so that was eventful. I actually got to the station on time. Usually, Brendan would drive me on Wednesday’s cause that’s the day he works from home. I’m starting to think I should just do that from now on but I don’t think he’d part with the car the whole day.

Besides that, it’s been a boring day. Brendan comes back tomorrow, and it turns out I have a lot of cleaning to do. Of course I tried to do some this morning. I let it abit late.

My sister isn’t in the office today. I found out the hard way. I thought I’d go say hi cause I needed to interact with a human. Went all the way upstairs and asked around for her to no avail.

I had 2 coffees by 11am. That was a sign of the day.

At the time of writing this, I can hear my colleague across the computer from me singing Livin’ La Vida Loca to himself. I think I’ve heard about 3 different songs. Wait… it’s changed. I can’t make out the current one.

OH! It’s Uptown Funk now complete with bass.

I’ve doodled today which is something I do when I’m in the office to keep myself sane. Usually it’s circles today I’ve returned to my stick figure song titles.

So yep, this is my day. Only 2 and a half hours left. So far I have no sales to show for. No quality assessments to do cause it’s too early in the month. Usually when I’m in the office I use that time to do my call listening but it being only the 2nd, I have nothing to do.

Back To It

I go back to work tomorrow so I should be having an early night but of course I’m not. Sitting here watching Trailer Park Boys, just fed the other boys and about to have a shower. Feeling pretty low but what else is new?

I’ve been doing nothing for a week now and can officially say I have seen no one, have talked to no one which reminds me of what a loner (loser?) I am. It’s official. That’s me. And it’s not going to get any better. I’m too old.

Was pretty shitty though.

I need to have a best friend other than Brendan. It’s safe to say that there’s gonna be times (like the last week) where I’m not going to be anyone’s. He’s been too busy to call. Or too tired. He’s out with family or friends. So yeah…

As needy as I am, I’m not vocal about it. I suppose that’s a positive. Brendan’s been messaging me in the morning and a little throughout the day. Instead of being a nag, I just go quiet. I don’t want to ruin his good vibe by me complaining about how I’ve had no attention or conversation with anyone besides the cat. He doesn’t need that. I’ll just go distant. That’s better.

He did end up extended his trip by another 2 days. Don’t know if I mentioned that. To be honest, I can’t remember what I’ve mentioned.

This week has reminded me about when I was single and living alone. Except right now I’m not broke and I’m not single. I don’t know which one would be worse right now.

But yeah, going back to work tomorrow so I can’t wait to see….. people I guess.

Not gonna lie, I need to stop writing or this whole post is gonna be an emo-fest. Just like everything else, I try not to bitch too much. So, I just sook in private and stay silent. But then again, if I can’t write about how stupid I feel on here, where will I ever vent?

It’s just an embarrassment to read over it.

Just Waitin’ For A Mate

Today was another quiet day. I woke up pretty late around noon and migrated from the bed to the couch. My goal for the day was to eat pasta. So, if your going to go ahead and judge my day by that… you’d probably be right on how you’d think I’m going.

I was going to go to the gym but realized I was too lazy.

I really was so excited to eat pasta I made dinner at 4:30 and ate an hour later. It was everything I expected. Including the guilt of eating it. That’s one thing I don’t miss about eating pasta. The bloat and the guilt. But lucky I don’t eat it as much as I use to hence my excitement at the thought.

I talked to Brendan through snapchats again. Not going to lie, kind of annoys me that he hasn’t called or anything and instead I’ve been having to tell him shit through 1 minute clips that, lets be real, I don’t know if he’s paying attention too. So yeah, no call. Just “Hey babe, I’m doing this”. Would seriously be easier just to call for 5 minutes. But that’s fine. It’s his holiday and I don’t want to intrude. Plus, I’m probably making a fuss over it because I literally haven’t talked to anyone in 3 days. The only other person I have talked to is my best friend and again, just through fucking Snapchat. And not even a proper convo. Yeah. So, maybe it’s just me. Even Amity hasn’t been hanging out with me very much since all the doors in the house have been open. She’s living a separate life to mine.

Face is looking good today though. No swelling which is a surprise. Bit of bruising. Actually quite a bit. Cheeks are looking good though and no bruising there. I went to the shop to get a drink and the checkout chick actually asked about my face. “Did you get your lips done?” “Yeah, just a bit bruised but got it done yesterday”. “They look great. I love them! Where do you go?”. So, I gave her the name of my chick and where she works and told her to ask for her. That was a plus. Seems the money was well spent (after 4 times).

Speaking of the injection lady, she messaged me this morning and asked me how I was. She sent some before and after pics of me when I had no fillers compared to now to show me the difference. WOW! Big difference. It’s surprising how flat my face was. You don’t realize these things. She does say as you age you’re face goes flat. Looses it’s volume. She wasn’t wrong. But I showed her what I looked like and she was all happy. So that was sweet. Shows she cares.

Anyways, currently I’m waiting for my best friend to get online so I can cam her and talk shit for a bit while she waits for her boyfriend to finish work. Although he finishes at like 3am. I dunno. She’s worried if she falls asleep she wont wake up so I’m going to help her stay awake.

I’ll get to it.

Filling The Void (and my face)

Day went like this:

I woke up and realized my face appointment wasn’t till 7pm so I had to fill my day doing something.

I had a morning filled with snuggles with the pups. They usually aren’t allowed upstairs but yanno, Brendan’s not here. What’s that saying? While the cat’s away the mice will play?

Speaking of mice (a little off topic), before Brendan left I made him put mice stuff in the roof. We’ve had a mouse, maybe a rat, I dunno, up there. Something big enough to hear it running around. I named him Mr Marbles 2. I’m pretty sure they find their way up there cause of the rains. Last week I was doing work in the office and I swear this thing was in the wall right across from my face. If there was no wall we would probably be looking at each other. It came to a point where even the cat was like “Who the fuck is there?”. I haven’t heard anything the last few days though. That’s a sign. I’m not sure if I’m happy about it cause I kind of feel like a dick for having it killed. To be honest, if they didn’t ruin cables and wires and risk making the house a potential fire hazard and also didn’t spread diseases with potential of finding it’s way downstairs into my pantry and shitting and making me sick, I would have let him stay. Anyways…

I let the boys come upstairs and hang out with me. They had a nap and we watched some TV together. It was good. I needed it. They did too. They enjoyed it so much they didn’t want to go back downstairs but I had to get ready and go out.

Around 2pm I went for a pedicure which is something I’ve never done. I will be doing it again. Loved it and it’s cheap to do. Plus, I’m not used to having my toes looking nice. Usually their just plain and look like fingers. Now they actually look better than my fingers. My nails are still recovering from my extensions a few months ago where I lost almost a full nail… so… yeah.

After that I went shopping for the week. I went a little too hard with the pet food. Got a lot of treats, got a lot of meat… I dunno. I must be trying to compensate for something. I had to remind myself when I was shopping that Brendan wasn’t here and I didn’t have to buy a bunch of stuff. I was picking up pasta stuff and being like “Oh, I’ll make a pasta bake. Brendan likes that” and than realized he still wont be back for another week.

I had enough time to come back home, put everything away and chill for an hour before I had to head back out again.

I did a quick pit stop at Kmart. I bought a new mirror, skirt and a few other things. I put all the stuff in the car and found away to waste 45 minutes before my appointment.

FINALLY!! The time arrived. I saw my regular lady. She’s the only chick so far that makes me feel comfortable and tells me I’m one of her favourite clients. I don’t care if she’s lying, I like that comment. I initially went in there to get my lips done again and try my hand at botox. I’ve never had that. What I ended up walking out with was my lips pumped up and more filler in my cheeks. I tried getting that for the first time 2 months ago and it’s made a difference. My face it no longer flat looking and I have natural looking cheek bones. So, I put some more in. AND THAT’S WHERE I WILL STOP!

Much like everything, there is swelling. this will go down and look normal.

Now, I sit on the couch, occasionally checking on my swollen mouth and cheeks and admiring how I actually look like I have defined facial features. I’m on to season 3 of After Life. At the moment I’m watching a season a day. Lucky there’s only 3 seasons, right? I just finished a big bowl of Pho. And after I post this… I’m torn between playing Stardew Valley or continuing on with Assassin’s Creed.

First Day Of My Week Alone

I’ve been MIA for almost 4 months but considering how often this has happened (I’m here, I’m not, I’m back again, then I’m gone), I ain’t even going to apologize for it anymore. But here I am. More of a of “Hello, I’m still alive”.

Funny enough I probably feel like I need to post more than ever. More for my own sanity. Just to put something out there to have my thoughts onto something.

Everything is fine. Everything has been fine. I use the word fine because it is. Obviously there can be improvements but it’s all going pretty cruisy. Which is better than shit, right? I don’t have any complaints and even if I do, I can’t be fucked complaining.

Right now, my mind is a little interesting. I’ve had my first day alone in a while. This marks my first week and a bit by myself in almost 4 years. It may not sound that bad, and it’s not. But how do I explain this?

I’ve been MIA for almost 4 months but considering how often this has happened (I’m here, I’m not, I’m back again, then I’m gone), I aint even going to apologize for it anymore. But here I am. More of a of “Hello, I’m still alive”.

Funny enough I probably feel like I need to post more then ever. More for my own sanity. Just to put something out there to have my thoughts onto something.

Everything is fine. Everything has been fine. I use the word fine because it’s is. Obviously there can be improvements but it’s all going pretty cruisy. Which is better then shit, right? I don’t have any complaints and even if I do I can’t be fucked complaining.

Right now though my mind is alittle interesting. I’ve had my first day alone in awhile. This marks my first week and a bit by myself in almost 4 years. It may not sound that bad, and it’s not. But, how do I explain this?

Brendan went back to NSW for yesterday. He’s supposed to be coming back tuesday but said he’s thinking of extending his stay a day or 2 to see some other family. That’s all good. I’m not worried about any of that. It’s more my own head.

I woke up this morning and the house was so quiet. Like, pin dropping quiet. I didn’t realize how much noise this guy made. I didn’t get out of bed till 11:30am (i’m on annual leave for a week because I thought while he was gone I would “look after myself” and the house, see people… just do “me”). It was weirdly quiet though.

I got up, fed everyone, mopped the floor, did some laudry, washed dished. I just tried to keep myself busy. I already made plans to see a friend I haven’t seen in the last 3 years. I figured it was a good time to try and catch up with him while I have all this free time. I actually messaged him in the morning and tried to get out of it. I suggested we catch up next Wednesday due to shity weather and me not really wanting to leave my house. In the end I knew the best thing to do would be to leave. Go out. Go for dinner. Have a nice catch up. And it was great. I’ve missed catching up with him. After hearing about all the plans Brendan had. Seeing friends, family, dinners… what am I gonna do? Sit here on the couch all week and feel sorry for myself? Nope.

It took a bit for me to leave the hosue but I did.

Tomorrow I have another full day plan of grocery shopping, more house cleaning. I have an appointment to get my face done. Maybe I’ll take myself out for dinner. A Kmart trip might be in the works. I dunno. Anything to feel like I’m doing something. Yanno.

I dont know if it’s me being by myself. Not having Brendan with me. Not knowing whats going on. Maybe having a feeling of being left out. But I know if I was there Brendan probably wouldn’t be having as much fun lol.

To be honest, I felt like Brendan needed to go without me. Last time we were there was April this year. We got Covid. He saw no friends of family. He needed it.

But yeah. That’s my throughts at the moment. 12:21am. Eating some chips, watching Youtube and drinking Vodka. But its okay. My face appointment isn’t till 7pm tomorrow (sucha stupidly dumb time but its all I could get with the lady I wanted).

Also, I will just add. The place I went to for dinner toight was amazing. Was a Thai restaurant in the city. I can’t even remember all the things we ate but it was all too good. I will be going back!

The End

I’ve been MIA for almost 4 months but considering how often this has happened (I’m here, I’m not, I’m back again, then I’m gone), I aint even going to apologize for it anymore. But here I am. More of a of “Hello, I’m still alive”.

Funny enough I probably feel like I need to post more then ever. More for my own sanity. Just to put something out there to have my thoughts onto something.

Everything is fine. Everything has been fine. I use the word fine because it’s is. Obviously there can be improvements but it’s all going pretty cruisy. Which is better then shit, right? I don’t have any complaints and even if I do I can’t be fucked complaining.

Right now though my mind is alittle interesting. I’ve had my first day alone in awhile. This marks my first week and a bit by myself in almost 4 years. It may not sound that bad, and it’s not. But, how do I explain this?

Brendan went back to NSW for yesterday. He’s supposed to be coming back tuesday but said he’s thinking of extending his stay a day or 2 to see some other family. That’s all good. I’m not worried about any of that. It’s more my own head.

I woke up this morning and the house was so quiet. Like, pin dropping quiet. I didn’t realize how much noise this guy made. I didn’t get out of bed till 11:30am (i’m on annual leave for a week because I thought while he was gone I would “look after myself” and the house, see people… just do “me”). It was weirdly quiet though.

I got up, fed everyone, mopped the floor, did some laudry, washed dished. I just tried to keep myself busy. I already made plans to see a friend I haven’t seen in the last 3 years. I figured it was a good time to try and catch up with him while I have all this free time. I actually messaged him in the morning and tried to get out of it. I suggested we catch up next Wednesday due to shity weather and me not really wanting to leave my house. In the end I knew the best thing to do would be to leave. Go out. Go for dinner. Have a nice catch up. And it was great. I’ve missed catching up with him. After hearing about all the plans Brendan had. Seeing friends, family, dinners… what am I gonna do? Sit here on the couch all week and feel sorry for myself? Nope.

It took a bit for me to leave the hosue but I did.

Tomorrow I have another full day plan of grocery shopping, more house cleaning. I have an appointment to get my face done. Maybe I’ll take myself out for dinner. A Kmart trip might be in the works. I dunno. Anything to feel like I’m doing something. Yanno.

I dont know if it’s me being by myself. Not having Brendan with me. Not knowing whats going on. Maybe having a feeling of being left out. But I know if I was there Brendan probably wouldn’t be having as much fun lol.

To be honest, I felt like Brendan needed to go without me. Last time we were there was April this year. We got Covid. He saw no friends of family. He needed it.

But yeah. That’s my throughts at the moment. 12:21am. Eating some chips, watching Youtube and drinking Vodka. But its okay. My face appointment isn’t till 7pm tomorrow (sucha stupidly dumb time but its all I could get with the lady I wanted).

Also, I will just add. The place I went to for dinner toight was amazing. Was a Thai restaurant in the city. I can’t even remember all the things we ate but it was all too good. I will be going back!

The End

Brendan went back to NSW yesterday. He’s supposed to be coming back Tuesday but said he’s thinking of extending his stay a day or 2 to see some other family. That’s all good. I’m not worried about any of that. It’s more my own head.

I woke up this morning and the house was so quiet. Like, pin dropping quiet. I didn’t realize how much noise this guy made. I didn’t get out of bed till 11:30am (I’m on annual leave for a week because I thought while he was gone I would “look after myself” and the house, see people… just do “me”). It was weirdly quiet though.

I got up, fed everyone, mopped the floor, did some laundry, washed dishes. I just tried to keep myself busy. I already made plans to see a friend I haven’t seen in the last 3 years. I figured it was a good time to try and catch up with him while I have all this free time. I actually messaged him in the morning and tried to get out of it. I suggested we catch up next Wednesday due to shitty weather and me not really wanting to leave my house. In the end I knew the best thing to do would be to leave. Go out. Go for dinner. Have a nice catch up. And it was great. I’ve missed catching up with him. After hearing about all the plans Brendan had. Seeing friends, family, dinners… what am I gonna do? Sit here on the couch all week and feel sorry for myself? Nope.

It took a bit for me to leave the house, but I did.

Tomorrow, I have another full day planed of grocery shopping, more house cleaning. I have an appointment to get my face done. Maybe I’ll take myself out for dinner. A Kmart trip might be in the works. I Dunno. Anything to feel like I’m doing something. Yanno?

I don’t know if it’s me being by myself. Not having Brendan with me. Not knowing what’s going on. Maybe having a feeling of being left out. But I know if I was there Brendan probably wouldn’t be having as much fun lol.

To be honest, I felt like Brendan needed to go without me. Last time we were there was April this year. We got Covid. He saw no friends of family. He needed it.

But yeah. That’s my thoughts at the moment. 12:21am. Eating some chips, watching YouTube and drinking Vodka. But it’s okay. My face appointment isn’t till 7pm tomorrow (such a stupidly dumb time but it’s all I could get with the lady I wanted).

Also, I will just add. The place I went to for dinner tonight was amazing. Was a Thai restaurant in the city. I can’t even remember all the things we ate but it was all too good. I will be going back!

The End

Me the rest of the week cause I’ll be by myself