Please… PLEASE let this week go by as quickly as my weekend. If this was the case I think people would complain less.
It’s hard trying to find the best way to cope with the day. Does looking at the clock speed up time or slow it down?
I find if I split my day up into three segments and I countdown the hours until my next break it sometimes works.
If there is anyone out there who knows voodoo, hoodoo or dabbles in spells hell, I’ll even take satanic rituals at this point so long as what’s being cast will make time speed up. Also, If you could perhaps do a spell that will cure me of my major tooth ache maybe even restoring or remove the tooth without me knowing that would be most helpful.
On the topic of this tooth though, seriously speaking (writing) it’s bad. I’m not being over dramatic or exaggerating in the slightest. I’m scared of dentists so this tooth has been in my head and rotting away for years. It all took place about 3 years ago. It was New Year’s Eve, possibly even New Year’s Day by that time. I was sitting on my couch all curled up with my dog in the early hours. The other half was asleep and I decided to throw on a movie and make a bowl of popcorn. As I was eating…. A piece of my molar came out. I felt a hole. But continued eating anyway.
A year or so after that, tooth still in my head, I was sitting eating dinner. Another piece came out. Same tooth. I stopped what I was doing and yelled “SHIT”. Then I continued eating.
Fast forward to now! Again, I know this is my own fault but with the fear of dentists and I myself knowing how bad it is the only thing that scares me more than the dentist will be the cost. I was eating a piece of bread the other month and it felt like a nerve was sticking right out. I can’t explain the pain. It was like a jolt. A shock! Spreading my whole face that made me drop whatever I had in my hand and just stand there freaked out. I was scared to eat a piece of bread! Then the earaches started happening and the headaches. Finally last 2 weeks ago I bit the bullet and decided it was time to see the dentist.
He checked me out, I got an x-ray and he sent me on my way with painkillers and antibiotics. He later called me and told me that it was too messed up to do at the clinic and I was needing to go to the surgeon which obviously meant $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and that I would need to be knocked out for it.
Now, to everyone else it seems that’s not a big deal. “You won’t even know what’s happening. You’ll go to sleep and then wake up which will feel like a couple minutes later toothless”. Yeah, that all sounds well and good but I have never been knocked out! Unless you count being blackout drunk (which doesn’t happen often). I’ve never been admitted to hospital for anything. I’ve never broken or fractured any part of my body and of course never had surgery. It’s a big deal for me.
I’ve been basically living off of painkillers the last couple weeks cause I’m too scared to book in and have been trying to figure out when I can get time off work. I’m also running out of painkillers which mean the time is coming… for it to be removed. Which brings me to my dilemma today.
The only good thing about this tooth coming out is I’ll need some days off work which of course means NO WORK!! I’m hating work so much at the moment I’d RATHER get a tooth removed than go to work. That’s saying something. I remembered that I booked two weeks off starting next week. It was supposed to be from the 9th of June to the 21st as the plan was to go away. Clearly that’s not happening. It pains me to do this but I’m going to have to cancel the leave or at least half of it and instead use it on getting this beast removed.
The tooth: molar, rotted, half a tooth, too close to the nerve to remove at the dentist, surgeon needs to do it, will knocking me out.
HOW COULD I BE SO CARELESS!!???
I also need cavities filled. *sigh*
All of this is will be happening during a rather busy start of the month. The man of the house comes back this week and naturally I would ask him to see me to my appointment and take me home but he’ll be starting his new job next week so he’s out. Lucky I have one of my trusty best friends who has offered to make sure I’m taken care of. She has also promised to not film me if I come out high and put it on YouTube, unless I want her too. Not only that but the fiancés birthday is on the 13th and I wanted to take him out for dinner the weekend before. Won’t be doing that if I get it pulled on the Thursday or Friday. I’m imaging some swelling for a couple days.
My fear of being put under is pretty high. I have anxiety issues and I don’t like the thought. What if I don’t wake up?? The only thing getting me through these horrible thoughts is thinking of the people I watch on My 600lb Life. If there’s a risk of someone not coming out of it properly it would be someone of that size with health issues. They all get surgery. Sometimes it takes them longer to come to but they don’t DIE! Actually I think one did but I won’t think of that one.
Maybe I have a heart problem I don’t know about? My friend told me they make you sign a waiver. A WAIVER!! IN CASE I DO DIE!! WTF!! Is that supposed to make me feel positive when I’m already a nervous person??
I don’t know… I need a smoke now. I’ve definitely worked myself up way too much.