Take Me Back To My Childhood (so I can eat)

I did something today. Something I haven’t done in years. It’s probably not as exciting to the outside world as it is to me. Actually, I can confirm its not as exciting to anyone else. But that’s perfectly fine.

I feel like I’ve built up enough (just a little) suspense by that paragraph and yes, yes I will elaborate.

Now, I don’t know if this is a Canadian thing that I picked up as a kid growing up over there. Every lunch time in Elementary School I’d either go home for lunch or I’d take my lunch with the intention of eating at school but instead go to a friends house and eat there. Sometimes I’d stay and eat like everybody else in the gymnasium that would turn into the lunchroom and other times my friends and I would sneak out and go eat by the creek at the back of the school. Whenever I was in a home (mine or a friends) my favorite thing to eat was noodles. Ramen noodles. Cheap ass 25 cent packets of noodles. Actually, I cant remember if they were even cheaper. This was the 90’s. Back when you could get a packet of chips and a drink for under a dollar. The noodle thing would explain my life long love of cheap noodles though.

My other favorite thing to eat was Kraft Mac and Cheese with hot dogs cut up and mixed through it. That’s what I made tonight for dinner. Took me back a little. Not completely though.

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As  anyone can see by this pic it doesn’t look all that appetizing. And you’d be somewhat correct. It does taste better than it looks but this isn’t completely my childhood. And here’s why:

For starters, that’s not Kraft Mac and Cheese. I didn’t buy a box. I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s not the same in Australia as it is in Canada or The States. People don’t understand here what Kraft Mac is or what it tastes like. It’s different. I call it “real” Mac and Cheese. It’s suppose to be real orange in color. Or would you call it really golden? No, it’s orange. In Australia it’s pale. Almost white. It scares me. The noodles are supposed to be thinner, straighter and a little longer. You’re meant to be able to put them on fork prongs. One macaroni at a time. Here, they’re fatter, slightly curled and clearly less fun. That rubs me the wrong way.

Another difference is the price. Now, anyone from the America’s and above, get this! How much would you buy a box of Kraft Mac for? $1.50? $2.00? Well, over in Australia you’ll be looking at paying almost $5. This isn’t for a family size box. Just your regular size. And that is another reason why I can’t justify spending $5 on a box of Mac and Cheese that isn’t even REAL Mac and Cheese!

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My childhood
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My nightmare


IT’S INSANE!!

I honestly haven’t had Kraft since I was last in the States which was about 6 years ago. I can’t bring myself to ruin the beautiful memory I have. When I was last there I lived off of the Spongebob shaped ones as well as Hot Pockets (please don’t get me started on those bad boys. I was eating then by the box load). I did have the original one as well. Don’t you worry.

The hot dogs here aren’t the same either. It’s a very sad state of affairs. On the plus side I guess I shouldn’t complain. If Australia had all the things I’ve loved growing up eating I would probably be the size of a house. And if those things were so marked up in price like I know they would be, well, I’d be as big as a house and poor as hell. I’d be working just to eat Hot Pockets.

This post has made me realize I should touch more on the extraordinary price of things I love to eat over here (which is why I don’t get to eat them). Australian food is expensive enough. American food is ridiculously more overpriced. I still don’t get it. I don’t think I ever will. But as anyone would be able to tell from this entry, it hurts. I’m hurting. And I haven’t stopped hurting in years.

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