You’ll Be With Me Forever

I had a consult for my tooth to be removed from my head today. All seemed well. Yanno, getting the ball rolling on this thing. I had the day off which was an added bonus. My appointment was for 11:45am but good ‘ol me decided to be an hour early. A lot of smokes were had.

I didn’t have to wait long to meet the guy who was going to relieve me of this pain. We had a good chat and he explained the whole process to me. Right away he noticed that I didn’t look very excited. “You don’t look very happy to meet me” he said. I shook my head in agreeance. Cause lets face it. I wasn’t. I don’t like dentist and this damn tooth is proof of that. They cause pain in peoples faces by basically performing torture tactics which in turn (and with proper drugs) turn out to be the best thing for the victim. Not only do they cause pain in the mouth  but they do this by providing a finishing blow to the wallet.

So sensing my anxiety and seeing the fact that I was almost in tears by just hearing him talk he suggested the best way to go about the extraction was by knocking me out. He then explained how that is done and reassured me that the light anesthesia is made just for these sort of situations and that I’d be fine. He went on to advise that it’s cheaper to have it done at his clinic and if I were to go into the hospital it would cost me $700 more. Awesome, so I’m saving money here! That’s exactly what you want to hear, right?

He looked at my x-ray and told me that it needed to be pulled out right away and wanted me to go in this Friday. I told him it will have to be the following Friday because of the arrangements I’ve already worked out. He tried to convince me to go in sooner but with the painkillers he prescribed I told him I’d be fine for another week. I’d have to be. As he got up to signal the consult had come to a close (it lasted about 10 minutes and costed me $130) I asked:

“So how much is this going to set me back?”
To which he replied:
“I’ll get Stephanie at reception to give you your quote and I’ll go write up your prescriptions”.

Alright.

I went to the receptionist who made me fill out another form because I was being put under for this ordeal. I went back to her and she started giving me the quote. Now, I mentioned I wanted to cry in the consult room but this…… this was another level. She went through each fee.

“Here’s your quote. To have the tooth extracted it will be $450. The admission to the clinic will be $400. That will cover the chair. Because you’ll be knocked out the anesthetist fee will be between $550 to $600 and will need to be paid before the day. If you call this number you can make a payment. Medicare will cover $150 of the anesthetist fee. You’ll need to fast for 6 hours prior to the surgery so no food or water after 12am and you’ll need to arrive at about 10 past 8 in the morning.”

Wait, hold on a second. The fact that she so nonchalantly told me that this whole thing will potentially cost me $1400+ made me believe she was made out of money. Or maybe she thought I was? I’m not too sure but I can confirm right now I ABSOLUTELY AM NOT! I was expecting this thing to be about $800. It blew my top off. All I could think about was how was I supposed to afford this thing? I actually went silent.

Do I need to start up a GoFund me page for this? I’ve seen more ridiculous shit on that site. At least this will be legit.

*Note: Stephanie actually quoted me a full price of $1700. The correction to the price of $1400 was done by me… right now. And this is actually something I’m going to have to call and ask about tomorrow cause now I’m confused of the actual price. So potentially this is $1700 which is the cost I was told. My calculations state otherwise though. 

At the moment I’m contemplating cancelling this appointment. I don’t know just yet. I really can’t afford this though. I’ve got a lot of “financial planning” to think about in the next couple days. I’m currently googling payment plan dental places that also do sleep dentistry. So about 5 dental places will wake up to this long yet professional email from me advising of the D324 x 1 that needs to be removed.

This whole thing got me thinking though, how much to dentist get frickin’ paid!!!?? If they can charge that sort of fee for something that apparently takes 45 minutes the sky is the limit. Actually, the sky is a stack of frickin money if you’re viewing it from a dentist point of view. I literally now see dentists as real life Moneybags from Monopoly. And how many other patients will this guy see in one day?

I think there’s three types of friends you need in your life.

  • A Doctor
  • A Lawyer
  • A Dentist

I got the lawyer friend down but I’m failing on the rest. I’d also probably add an accountant as well.

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I most definitely am especially now!!!
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