Where Have I Been….. Again?

My year hasn’t started off with as much optimism and luck as I hoped for. If anything it’s been the worst year I’ve had so far.

I’m currently sporting a pain in my boob. Hoping it’s just a pulled muscle but it’s feeling like it’s around my heart. I’m having trouble taking deep breaths but it comes and goes. It doesn’t leave for long but still. It goes. I’ve had it since Thursday. About 3 days now. I’ve have a lot of stuff going on so I’m hoping this just passes.

Currently we have 3 weeks to find a new house as well. After 4 and a half years of living here we were hit with the news that the landlord was selling the house. No mention of this from the landlord though. Within a week we had to have an open inspection which set my anxiety into overdrive. I had about 30 people walking around here while I stood there awkwardly. Was such a shit experience. It worked out for the landlord though cause it sold the same day… so good for her.

We’ve checked some other places out but coming up with all this info for applications is rather overwhelming. Rental references aren’t an issue of course. Then they want work references which is understandable but then 4 frickin personal references. That sucks cause I really don’t know a lot of people. My best friend is a ref I’m using for a job ref cause she was my manager so that’s one less person I can put as a personal.

UGH! I’m rather overwhelmed.

On top of that, my job has felt like it’s on the rocks. My manager is making it seem like I’m doing really bad even though I’m being told by others I’m improving which isn’t making me feel very secure. I’m trying my hardest to be good though especially with being the sole income coming into this fucking place at the moment. Daniels been in and out of work since the beginning of the year and it’s really taking a toll on everything.

With all that, the last month I’ve been working till 9pm to 10:15pm which hasn’t left much room for tying loose ends together.

My mental “well being” has been taking a beating and I’m just hoping for the best at the moment. I’m currently looking at a house that needs to be completely packed up yet I can’t find motivation to do it. I tried today and only managed to pack one box. At least I started I suppose.

Val needs to be taken to the vet as well. I’ve noticed he has a lump on his jaw. I’m hoping it’s just an abscess but I’m really at a loss for money right now. Last month I actually had to borrow money from friends. That’s like the first time I’ve ever had to do that and it felt horrible. It’s funny, I make more money than I did before yet I’m more broke than I’d ever been.

There’s been heaps of other random stuff as well but I think I’ve honestly tried blocking it out.

I’ve had good things happen as well but I’ll leave that for another post. I’ll just have this post be as brief and depressing as possible lol.



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