Broke As A Joke

You ever get that when you say “Fuck, I’m broke” and someone replies with “Me too!”. But in your head you’re thinking “Nah. I’m actually broke”. That’s definitely me at the moment. I don’t use that phrase lightly. If you ever hear me say that out loud that means I’m basically fueled by air, drinking water and all my bills are overdue. I’m literally counting down the days till payday.

I find people who usually say that then go out and buy clothes or go out for dinner and I wonder what their idea of “broke” actually is.

I’ve just done my shopping for the week on $35!! I’ll repeat that.

THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!

This consists of:

  • 8x cat food
  • 8x dog food
  • A box of dry cat food
  • Kitty litter
  • A loaf of bread
  • 4x chicken soup
  • Cheese
  • Rice
  • Bleach

And I just remembered that I forgot toilet paper!! FFS.

I gotta admit I’m kind of impressed that I managed that though. I mean, once I get paid again maybe I’ll take up this half-air-half-bread and chicken noodle soup diet forever. I’d save money no doubt.

I also went to the Dr today. My nose has been bleeding off and on the last week and today it was bleeding quite a bit. Turns out its infected. Not the passage way but the nostril bone area. It’s scabbed up as well. And I also have this bump on my head that’s scabbed. I’m basically falling apart.

The boyfriend messaged earlier asking me how I went and I explained it to him. I joked and mentioned how I may as well become homeless as well. The way I’m going I’m almost at that stage where I’m just a common junkie living on the streets. Sick, broke, living off of $1 food, drunk and scabby. He found it amusing and I had a mental chuckle at how ridiculous that was but deep down I actually could see that happening. How bad is that? Minus the ice and shit, of course.

So, currently I’m typing this, drinking wine, tissue in nostril and watching Pewdiepie wishing I could some how drink enough to make time speed up. Wait!!! Maybe if I can go into a 10 day coma that would work. Fuck…. still 10 days till pay day….. I really wish I didn’t count that.

I’ve been pondering ways to make some extra cash but so far my ideas are either immoral or take time to build up some traction before any sort of income starts coming through. The building traction ideas work great over a period of time but the immoral ideas are the ones that make the money on the day. Of course, those ideas don’t really gel with my current values but looking at a drying up bank account and still being almost two damn weeks till pay day… it sure as hell seems rather convincing to do.

Don’t worry though. I couldn’t do any of that. I couldn’t live with myself and I don’t think the people around me would be too impressed with my decisions *sigh* God, being an adult sucks.

On the up side, another kg (2.2lbs) down. So far that is 5kgs (11lbs) in a month. It would have been more but I indulged here and there. My goal is another 3kgs (6.6lbs) but hey… maybe another 5kg. Baby steps. But at this rate with lack of funds which also buys food I’d say that goal is pretty damn attainable. Maybe being broke can actually work for me. I’m starting to see the positives here.

Anyways, I’m gonna get back to my dinner of candy and wine and wait till I have something else to complain about or I win the lottery.

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